Is your Leadership a Well-Kept Secret?

Shhh… yes, you. The one in the corner (office). If you are the leader, you are doing a great job of hiding it. While we sometimes accuse others of failing to exhibit the qualities and traits we expect of leaders, often we are the ones hiding our leadership. Sometimes, our leadership is a well-kept secret.

When I am not feeling particularly leader-worthy, I find myself avoiding others and evading my responsibilities. Then it hits me… I am not acting like the leader I want to be. Maybe it’s time to face the reality that you are not always the leader that you think you are. Sometimes you retreat into hiding and your leadership is nowhere to be seen. Maybe this is temporary… or maybe not!

As I speak to and work with leaders, I have discovered three common issues that tend to mask leadership. Your leadership may be a well-kept secret if you are selfish, closed-minded or disengaged. The following three questions serve to test the transparency of our leadership. I wonder which of these issues most affects your leadership?

Are you a selfish leader? Leadership is influence and we achieve this through relationships. When we put our needs before those of the team we abandon the relationship. Our focus is inward and we are no longer generous with our time and talents, we become desensitized to others and their needs. Martin Luther King, Jr. expressed it this way, “Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.” When we are selfish, our actions no longer align with the expectations of our role and our leadership becomes destructive.

Are you a closed-minded leader? Leadership is inclusive and we achieve this by listening to and respecting the ideas others bring to the table. When we find ourselves becoming intolerant and unreceptive to new ideas we put the team at risk. We lose our humility, begin to make poor decisions and ultimately our confidence can be impacted. We become less approachable and others begin to write us off. Businessman Bo Bennett suggested “The only place opportunity cannot be found is in a closed-minded person.” When we stop considering new ideas and listening to others, we close the door on new opportunities and growth.

Are you a disengaged leader? Leadership is connection and we achieve this by engaging with others. When we find ourselves reacting to problems and being unprepared to lead we may sever the bond between leader and team. Our communication suffers, we lose vision and clarity and we start blaming others for the problems. We begin to appear insincere and less authentic. Steve Jobs said it best, “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” If we are disengaged from our team, none of us are doing great work.

It has been said that the hallmark of a great leader is the questions she asks. I have proposed three questions that we need to ask ourselves to ensure our leadership is fully available to those we serve. When we lead from a place of selfishness, closed-mindedness and disengagement, we hide the best part of who we are and lose the ability to lead effectively. When we are selfless, we lead with influence, we are inclusive and we engage others. What did you discover when you asked yourself these three questions?

Leadership Tendencies

I have written several blogs over the last few months exploring fresh new ideas in leadership. My intention has not been to abandon what we know to be effective as leaders, but to update our language and thinking about leadership. I continue this dialogue in this post with five new leadership tendencies that I find emerging in the conversation.

When I think of a tendency, I think of a preference for a particular way that one behaves. This is true in how we respond, almost by instinct, to the environment around us. It is also the core behaviors associated with leadership… those actions that are almost instinctual and driven more by style than by thought. What follows is a look into some of the leadership tendencies that appear to be most relevant.

Membership

We become a part of something by agreeing to the terms of membership. This is no different when we become leaders. By accepting our place in the academy of leadership, we accept certain responsibilities. First, we accept the idea that we are not in it alone. Collaboration with others is not only important but imperative. Second, we understand that we no longer have the luxury of thinking only for ourselves. Instead, we have a higher purpose, a greater role to those with whom we share membership. Finally, we feel compelled to ensure that we seek opportunities for worthwhile work, not only for ourselves but for others as well.

Loyalty

Loyalty in the vernacular of leadership is best described as devotion. Not only in the way we are attached to the organization through our work, but in the way we commit ourselves to others in the organization. Such commitment manifests in dependability and enthusiasm. As Samuel Goldwyn once stated, “I’ll take fifty percent efficiency to get one hundred percent loyalty.” As leaders, this loyalty serves a model for others to follow.

Mentor

As leaders, it is an obligation we have to serve in a mentoring capacity. Leadership is about development, both our own as well as our influence on others. We cannot be content in simply serving in a leadership capacity we must be willing to share our wisdom and know-how in support of the professional growth and development of an emerging leader. “Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn,” stated Benjamin Franklin. Mentoring is about engagement.

Service

There is nothing new about the idea of servant leadership… it is a well-explored topic. However, from my perspective it is not a typical behavior of leaders. In fact, we too often focus on ourselves, even when we don’t necessarily mean to do so. John Maxwell has stated that “True leadership must be for the benefit of the followers, not to enrich the leader.” Measures of our servant nature can be found in how well we cultivate trust and encourage others in their leadership journey.

Learning

Learning is a skill that never goes out of style. It implies goal-directed behavior whereby one expands existing knowledge, behaviors, or values to deepen understanding and awareness. How can one claim to be a leader if he or she is not actively seeking to grow and develop themselves in a learning environment? Albert Einstein stated it best, “Any fool can know. The point is to understand.” When we become a leader in whatever form that takes, it is not a ticket to sit back and relax. Just the opposite; it is the time for deeper understanding.

Our tendencies as leaders should drive us to seek ways to be more responsible, devoted, engaged, encouraging, and understanding. It is a matter of plugging in to ourselves and those around us. If we avoid these tendencies, we are being untrue to ourselves as leaders and unfair to those we lead. I would love to hear how you are letting your leadership tendencies thrive.

The Mentoring Effect

Have you ever had a mentor? Someone you could turn to when you had questions, when you needed advice, or just simply to bounce ideas off of? In short, someone you could rely on to tell you the truth. I have had the pleasure of both having great mentors as well as serving as a mentor for others. I highly recommend both.

As leaders, it is an obligation we have to serve in a mentoring capacity. Leadership is about development, both our own as well as our influence on others. We cannot be content in simply serving in a leadership capacity, we must be willing to put ourselves out there in service to others; we must be willing to take on the responsibility of leadership mentoring.

Below are seven tips for effective leadership mentoring:

Maintain regular contact: It is easy in the busy hustle of life to forget that we have someone relying on us. Mentors should assume they are the givers in this relationship. Consistent contact models dependability and builds trust.

Always be honest: To truly be effective and to be a part of your protégé’s leadership development, you must tell them the truth. Trust and respect are the foundations on which leadership development occurs.

Don’t expect to have all the answers: Despite your level of self-confidence, you are not the perfect leader. Sometimes, you won’t have the answer or know just what to do. That’s okay, sometimes just listening is all people need.

Be willing to share: You are in this relationship to share your knowledge, skills, expertise, and even personal contacts to help your protégé develop new leadership skills and grow as a leader. Don’t be selfish in sharing your successes.

Be clear about expectations: Most effective mentoring relationships start with a clear understanding of the expectations. This can include how often you will meet, the goals of the relationship, and other important details to ensure the relationship is effective and enjoyable for both parties.

Respect confidentiality: Good friends do… and good mentors do as well. Again, trust is the foundation of leadership and you will do more harm than good if you violate this confidence.

Have fun: Leadership is fun and our participating in the development of other leaders should be fun as well. While the professional nature of leadership mentoring is important, find ways to make it personal and fun as well.

A mentor is someone who has knowledge and experience that can be beneficial to the growth and development of others. The mentoring effect occurs when we share our wisdom and know-how in support of the professional growth and development of an emerging leader. In the words of Oliver Goldsmith, "People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy."

For whom are you modeling great leadership? I would love to hear about your mentoring relationships.

There is no Band Aid for Bad Leadership

As a child, I was always very active. I remember my family moved into a new neighborhood when I was about ten years of age. A few days in this new place, I saw some other kids riding their bikes and I wanted desperately to make friends so I jumped on my bike and took off down the street. In my haste I didn’t put on shoes and about the time I caught up with the others, I stubbed my toe.

This was no ordinary stubbing… I was on the verge of death. But what could I do? I couldn’t cry in front of others. So in the spirit of every brave boy, I acted like I meant to do it and rode back home. But I couldn’t keep the tears back as I stumbled into the house crying for my mother. And what did my mother do… she put a Band Aid on my toe and gave me a big hug.

Don’t you wish it was that easy to fix bad leadership?

But, what is bad leadership? Is it unethical or immoral? Is it incompetence or chaos? Or is it something else entirely? We may have a hard time defining bad leadership, but we certainly know it when we experience it. Some could argue that if you are not a competent leader then you are not a leader at all. But this seems too simple. Certainly there are leaders who do some things well but are not as capable as they could be. Maybe the line in the sand is ethics. Clearly someone who is unethical is not a leader… right? But, leadership, while generally considered a set of positive traits, certainly has a dark side. When considering examples of “bad” leaders, we invariably mention evil leaders like Hitler, Saddam Hussein, or that manager we once had who wouldn’t let us take a cigarette break. But, too often these leaders were in fact good at the act of leadership. After all, leadership is influence it just happens that not all influence is benevolent.

But my purpose here is not to debate good and bad leaders and leadership. Instead, my intent is to convey that effective leadership is not something that is easy to accomplish or achieve. And in those times when we do fail to be effective leaders, there is often no easy fix. Consequently it is better to avoid bad leadership in the first place. Below are a few thoughts on being an effective leader so you can avert the need for a Band Aid.

Adapt Quickly

Leadership is about flexibility and a willingness to change. If we stick to long to one way of doing things, we not only become stale, we become ineffective. With apologies to Charles Darwin, “It is not the strongest of the leaders that survives, nor the most intelligent. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.”

Act Decisively

“Make a decision and stick to it.” This was some of the best advice I ever received as a novice leader. My mentor was not suggesting I avoid the input of others or to make decisions in isolation. By all means seek the counsel and contributions of others, but when it comes time to make a decision… do it!

Connect Seamlessly

Consider those around you… what aspirations, passions, and goals do you share? As social beings, connecting with others may be the single most important thing we do for our happiness and our success. Althea Gibson was correct when she stated "No matter what accomplishments you make, somebody helped you."

Communicate Relentlessly

Communication is like cheese in a casserole, when you think you have enough, add more. James Hume tells us that “The art of communication is the language of leadership.” Shared information and transparency in your leadership style leads to open communication.

Reward Generously

Hard work and outstanding performance should be rewarded handsomely. This may be money, it may be time, or it may be something else like responsibility, empowerment, or trust. The reward matters less than the act of giving it. Winston Churchill said it best, "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."

How do you maintain your effectiveness as a leader?