Strengths are an interesting thing… for many of us, they are
the traits, characteristics and skills that we are sure we do well. Strengths
are what we boast about, where we have pride and feel accomplishment. In
reality, we occasionally fool ourselves into a false sense of our strengths.
The strengths we see in ourselves in some situations suddenly become a weakness
in other circumstances – or at best a hindrance. Those things about ourselves
that we can always rely on become vulnerabilities and challenges; when we are
forced to rely on others, our strengths sometimes get in the way.
Strengths, at best, are only good in a moment – that precise
instance when everything perfectly aligns, and we get to be the hero allowing
our strengths to shine through. However, at most times in our lives and
leadership journey, we need to rely less on our strengths and instead rely on
the strengths of others. Success depends more on our relationships than on our
internal need to show our strength. There is a Nguni word that speaks to oneness
among others and our common humanity: Ubuntu.
Literally translated, it means “I am, because you are.” Leadership is
recognizing that strength is in our common humanity and in how we exist through
others.
George Bernard Shaw stated it this way, “Life isn’t about
finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” Our leadership journey should
be about seeking balance with each other and with the world. We discover our
strengths through our relationships with others. I recently had a wilderness
leadership experience that made me think about my strengths and my need to rely
on others. At the top of a ropes course exercise, I was tested. Not from a fear
of heights or from a fear of falling, but from something far deeper. Maybe it
was trust, maybe it was courage or maybe some implicit bias, but something
caused me to freeze. But in an instant, my partner took control, looked me in
the eyes and calmed my fears. Telling me to hold her tight, we completed the
exercise through her calming voice and strong determination.
At that precise moment, my partner’s strengths shined, and
she was the hero. Our challenge is to always be looking for the hero’s in our
life.
